Jokes Aside…Get Smart.

Ever wanted to see through the social facade? Alrighty, you might just be scrolling through the right post because I have a great show lined up for you. You see folks, many a times we get told to put on a brave face, so we end up having so many brave faces but very few real faces. Insecurities and fears however cannot just be ignored. They end up intoxicating the relationships we build around us wether we realise it or not. Your way of saying, ‘I am right!’ might be posing the question, ‘what is wrong with you?’ Put the toxic person, or the bully that you know right now in your mind as you read this post. And if you cannot think of any in your social circles, you might just be the one.

This post got me running out here like crazy so I could get home and put the ideas that were brewing in my head, down on my notepad before they erupted from my storage system. I’ll tell you where the idea of this article came from.

A guy asked me why I don’t post memes alot like my peers. Seriously? I mean, you’re seriously asking me that? 99% of my contacts post alot of memes. That cracks my ribs enough. I decide to be the 1% that motivates them. Beacause trust me, they are in need of motivation. I will tell you why. Stay tuned.

I think the world today worries too much about significance and importance. Somebody says, `We live in a delusional Facebook world where we constantly want to be liked and we will do anything just to get it’. As a result most people walk around putting on a show and the best show wins the largest audience without realizing how much energy it takes to sustain that smokescreen. What if you invested that effort in committing to what can be changed, coming to terms with what cannot be changed and playing to your strengths – committing to being you, and a better you. The timidities however erupt sometimes when agitated, intimidated- or not pampered. Talk of a bruised ego. Afterall, only a boiling pot produces steam.

Lemme guess why you came here.

You don’t want to be caught up in nursing a grown up! That will suck the life out of you. Especially if they dont want to be nursed, they want to be fed.

Moving on…..

Ever felt like you know someone but you don’t really know them? That paradox is why we are all here I mean, you know them but you never really feel their authentic energy. Things don’t add up. If you’ve never then you reeeeeally need to hone your perception Leave that aside for a while, take a look at this;

You guys remember Chandler from the iconic American sitcom, Friends? Yep, really funny guy there. Made our days. Not until he met Roger, Phoebe’s new boyfriend who scares the wounded kid in him (Season 1 episode 13). Roger is a mean psychiatrist who uses his intuition to see beyond this thick layer of humorous cover-up. Guy catches Chandler on his tracks and mocks:

`You are so funny. He’s really funny. I wouldn’t want to be there when the laughter stops.’ Out of being scared, Chandler becomes curious. Roger has to explain to him what he means by those words and he does a good job ripping him apart. He reveals to the fans of the show that deep within the funny guy is a wounded kid who never healed. All behind the satire. We didn’t know that. The other friend don’t escape Roger’s wrath either.

Authenticity is a rare quality. Suprisingly, people who boast about being real are the fakest. When people are insecure about themselves, are uncomfortable expressing who they truly are, hiding old wounds or concealing secrets, they adopt a coping self that puts them in the world. I think its a natural instinct that our brains sends to keep us safe. They may not realize because they are just doing what is right by them. Such people may appear to be dominating, rude, mean or self-sabotaging.

That peculiar distance you’ve been feeling peculiar about with some people, dear reader, let’s talk about it. Today I want to give you three common social facades you are likely to have met out there;

✓Humor and sarcasm.

That humor is good, yes, everybody loves laughter and which is exactly why it is the perfect form of escapism. Everybody fancies a good laugh and especially ladies love the funny guy. But not until the sarcasm turns mockery and it begins to bite those around them…it is looking to be sustained. Being funny is an easy way to make people like you without necessarily letting them in. Somebody says, `I am actually mean and people think am joking.’

Its called dark humor. An old movie best brings out this concept of dark humor. The 2009 movie – Funny People tells the story of George Sommons. A troubled man and his stand-up comedy career. If you don’t have Netflix you can check out this review; https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funny_People

Now you know the funny guy isn’t as funny as they make you feel.

‘Jokes aside, Are you serious?’

✓Ego.

If you are naive, then you probably admire egotistical people. This because they thrive on attention.Not talking about the one that defines who we are but the self importance kind. Think about the guy that is always pushing themselves down everybody’s throat with their inflated or over-inflated egos. These are always finding a way to encroach into other peopl’s spaces. A classic way of putting people at bay by making them feel inferior. The ego however isn’t really who these people are. This facade like any other thrives on approval, it has to be fed constantly and be liked by other people. Somebody says, ” It wants control and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear”. You will feel a need to be someone else or feel drained after spending time with such a person.

‘ C’mon dude, get over yourself!’

✓Overly-Critical

This one closely resembles number two. In my last post, A Thing or Two, I vastly talked about perfectionism and fanaticism. The person that is always trying to have things aligned in a certain way. The idealist. They will critic others and make them feel bad about themselves. Twenty minytes with them and you will feel like your whole life is wrong.

‘. And a person who is that critical of other people!! I can only imagine how deep they hold themselves hostage to these ideals.’

So there you have it. People who live behind these masks can be really cumbersome people to deal with. This even though they do really need help.

Since you can now read through the facades, go out there an be awesome.


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