Hey there. A post I did earlier while I was still doing my fashion blog had so much impact on people who read it. I can tell from the feedback I got of course. Over time I have become so passionate about self development and the self-concept. I love to see people grow and blossom into who they were really meant to be. I love to see people get out there and just be amaizing, so here it is…
That my photographer holds so much weight to me doing this, never quite occurred to me so. Anyway, he went down with a cold and we might as well go down the you-are-who-you-are trip. Last week a friend of mine asked, ‘how comes you never told us you were starting this?’ The perfect answer; the moment you want to do something and you evaluate in your thinking whether or not people will like it, guess what, you just created your first limitation and the same got me thinking further;
In life there are some things you should never tone down for any reason or any stupid society expectation. The one thing that always tops the table is, being yourself. Look around you and you will discover there is always something amazing about an individual who is freely themselves. The need to feel wanted and accepted will always cause you to walk down paths you don’t want to. At some point in life you have found yourself in a tight spot, probably stressed, beating yourself hard, you feel like you are unfulfilling, maybe not good enough – life is demanding more than you can give. Sadly, most of these times the demands aren’t your own. Why is it that we take more than we can be responsible for? Why is it that we do not know when to turn our backs on things we don’t want to or cannot do?
We tie ourselves to the people we want to gratify then we get to the point where we are subjected to them. Our bosses, parents, siblings, relatives, friends, whoever. We move from one episode of stressing ourselves to another in our quest to get that approval from someone. Do you know the danger of this? Our minds get fixated on that, it becomes our limit- that if they don’t ‘yay’ you then you cannot go ahead and do it. Remember to always be strong enough to do what you want to do for as long as you really want to do it, whether there is an endorsement or not. Feel free to take the wrong turn for as long as you are taking your heart with you.
I am quietly watching a lady stand before a full body-size mirror, checks out her dress then picks up her make-up kit. She is getting ready to go out with some friends. Let’s name her Jessie. Jessie gives the person in the mirror a warm look, miserably examines her acne then covers them with a thick powder. In a few minutes she is done and contented with her new enhanced looks. She then smiles at the person in the mirror but she turns to her two friends and asks ‘how do I look?’ Two nods for her means she is okay. I presume that if she got a nod or none at all it means she is not good enough. Don’t get me wrong, I did not say that doing your make-up is wrong in fact you look so pretty in it, but, are you doing it for you. Our Jessie either has an eye problem or she is doing it for the people out there.
Great success stories we read for inspiration have some ‘quitting school’ along the line. Ever wondered why? Our schools impart uniformity. Imagine the diversity of talents the world would have if every single individual was freely themselves. In the few honest moments you spend with yourself, deep within you feel inadequate and that you don’t excel at anything notable. That’s simply because you are not freely yourself.
Your true potential lies on the other side of that coin. The side that is always hidden from the world, the one that you always feel is vulnerable to criticism, the one that may destroy the illusions about you- that’s the realest you. Be that, am sure you will fill lighter. We don’t have to like you. By the way people only criticize what you do until it transforms into something meaningful. People only love you and pamper you for as long as you are just a meek spirit that doesn’t believe in itself or for as long as you are simply like them. The moment you grow your own wings, people around you will quietly dislike you and some will openly criticize you. Let that ship sail, do not throw the anchor down ever again.
Do not dim you light to fit in the darkness of the background. If someone does not like you for who you are, then they weren’t meant to be in your life anyway. As you embark on the next journey of self-discovery, make a list of all the people in your life then pore over the relationship. Is it helping you become a better person, worse still is it sucking the energy out of you. Toxic is toxic and these people aren’t good for your health. Cut them off or limit that relationship. Let your wind blow so it can grow.
You were born to stand out. The world rewards people who are unapologetically themselves. There is no perfect way to be, just be. Flip the coin, strip off the mask and release the role playing. Fighting what is, is insane. Make a choice, the universe will adjust.
You matter more than you’ve ever imagined.