“But son, the house is big enough for all of us plus there is enough food so you can save that extra cost.” A cheerful restraining excuse of a certain woman back in my hood. The son just completed campus about a year ago and after securing a job , he wants to move out but mummy just can’t let go. She is finding every excuse to cling on him. She wants to see her son around – the love of a mother.
As kids grow up, you realize there comes a time when they will be fed up with the folks’ home and will want out. Lemme give you a secret – living on their own is every man’s dream. Some parents, especially mothers, resist the decision but when the youth proves adamant, they have to let go.
Why then do they have to move so early?
Every kid, in their own opinion, has their reasons as to why move out. There is this other girl still in my neighbourhood who wanted to move out of her parents’ harsh christian home she was brought up in. Her parents obviously resisted but since she had to go, she just packed and left without their nod. Some kids will want to move out because they are fed up with the strict rules of the home and being bossed around. BYOB. Or they want to prove the point they are big enough and in dire need of autonomy.
While some may feel that way, others just want freedom. Freedom to live their best life without having to seek a go-ahead from anybody. Just to feel they are on their own, earning and spending their way. Some other bunch may be a different kettle of fish. Others might reason that since they have a job, then its time they released their parent of the burden. Some parents may not understand but your child simply has to go. ‘But is the job really dependable?’ Some parents are found asking. ‘Why don’t you just work for another year then move?’ Reaction of others. Parents before you start begging, consider their side of the story.
For some, it might just be the youthful enthusiasm, ‘I want to be like so and so who shifted to Easich’, – these might end up coming back home.
Consider their age and that they may want to earn and spend their way without a close eye. Let them feel that they are still welcomed back home and even invite them over for meals. Don’t let them stray. Keep an eye from afar.
While some parents may want to see their children financially stable before moving out, others will discard their children’s proposals because they are too attached to them. ‘Imagine home without Harriet!’ They will wonder. They feel the kid belongs to them and should not leave. Yes, its true after they leave, the house goes dull for a while. Kids really brighten up a home but you cannot own them forever.
Parents will feel its too early for them to move out. Ofcourse a loving parent will genuinely want to hold on. Its always good to sit down as a family and discuss the issue. Resistance may cause defiance on the part of the child. Letting go too easily may not communicate the best love language also. They might think the parent waited for this day all their life. Let go if reason carries wait. If they have had issues with freedom before, stay adamant till they are mature enough.
So, the next time your kids are moving out, time to move into a smaller house. For obvious reasons.